Confidence is Key

In an attempt to wake myself up from a dreadful writer's block at the office, I resolved to taking a break by getting out for a bit, basking in the gloriousness of the beautiful day (even though it was only for 20 minutes in my car), and getting myself a large DD coffee. Now, you think, nothing could have happened to her in 20 minutes, but alas, it did!

I like going to this one DD because it is one of the few drive-thrus and it happens to be very close to my office. My only restraint on the subject is that the guy hits on me every time he sees me. But it's not in that creepy, oh-my-goodness-how-dare-you-talk-to-me kind of way. He's kind of nice, but it just makes me feel uncomfortable sometimes. I can't explain it.

So, of course, each time I go there, I try to act as confident as can be because that's who I am, right? Strong, independent, successful (and obviously full of myself…just kidding!). Anyway, as I wait for a good long while (because the idiot in front of me continues an endless exchange back and forth of what he's been handed - I guess he can't be satisfied), the car finally pulls away. As I begin to inch forward, I almost knock my mirror completely off my car. And I think I said something like, "Ahhhhhh!!!" Real smooth and confident, you know. The guy was there, of course, and he said, "Oh, be careful! Ha ha ha." And then he gave me some small talk about working hard or hardly working.

So yes, that's the end of the story but the point is I'm always doing ridiculous things like that when I try to act all confident. Rather, when I try to act OVERLY-confident. It always backfires. My friend (I'll protect her identity for this one) was walking with her iPod and sunglasses on. She's thinking to herself, "Damn, I look pretty good right now." She's just walking (la, la, la) and all of a sudden SPLAT!! She totally tripped on the sidewalk (or her own two feet, I can't recall) and fell on the floor amidst Chinatown madness. She called me up in a fit laughter.

I guess that's all we can do. Believe in ourselves and stay confident. And when you fall, know that you can pick yourself back up, keep walking (just like poor little Miss USA), and replay the scenario in your head, while you laugh hysterically.

Random Google Musings

In fourth grade I learned that a "googol" was a very large number - a 1, followed by 100 zeros. In later school days, the word had a different meaning for me and for the world. In this day of technological advances Google has certainly become a powerhouse and it's more than just a search engine.

I use Google for so much each day. I get my email, my RSS feeds, and even this blog in which I currently write from Google. They have a homepage where you can put a couple of different features, including horoscopes, daily words, daily headlines, and crossword puzzles, among a plethora of other things. It's insane! Sure, there are other search engines but it seems as if Google is really the one taking over.

And the science behind it all is so fascinating to me. When I started my job I didn't know much about Google except that I could get email and look up any topic at all and come up with an answer. Now, I realize that the sponsored ads are there for a nice marketing strategy and that there is a very complex algorithm behind why certain websites show up above others in the organic search results. It's crazy!

My brother sent me an article from the Times this morning, which prompted me to write this blog. It seems that Google will now be trying its hand with radio, TV, and print. It's basically taking over the world. But, I wonder how good that actually is. It's basically like a monopoly taking over. It may take a while, but Google may one day be the only search engine left.

I guess businesses need to expand their services so that they can outweigh the competition and even provide consumers with even more options, but how healthy is that really and what does that actually mean for our society?

Life.. It Happens..

It's so very strange, this time of year. It's not only a new beginning with springtime, but it's also a new beginning for graduates. My all-school commencement was yesterday and it was crazy! And it's funny because everyone keeps congratulating me for my great accomplishment. Others say, "Wait, didn't you graduate already?" Well yes, technically I did graduate in December, already got my very expensive piece of paper (aka my diploma) in the mail, and started my career in the real world. But at least I did get to go. After all, it was probably the only event I went to that was filled with such school spirit.

me, with my best friend at Graduation!!

I spent three and a half years in a place where I was just a number. I joined a sorority so that I could find my niche and a forum to start meeting new people. Everyone at my school, it seemed to me in my freshman year, was so cold and non-accepting. Dorm doors were never open and the people on my floor tended to judge everyone that walked off the elevator. I guess they had nothing better to do - I mean it's not like we lived in NYC, in the center of everything that was open 24/7.

Graduation put me in a place of wondering. I wondered what it would have been like if I had gone farther away from home. I wondered what it would be like to have gone to a smaller school. A smaller town? A religious school? What about picking a different major? I guess these are things that one can always obsess over. The what ifs of life. The road less traveled... and where am I going in the future? But I guess the only thing we can ever really do is accept the path we have chosen and take on the challenges, while rejoicing in our successes, and face life head-on. There's no room for regret.

Ewww, You're Gross!!!

I've wanted to write about this forever. I really never had a forum to put it in or a real reason to let this emotion out, but here goes…

What is with people, particularly men, thinking it's OK to sexually harass you on the street? Making obscene noises and using dirty slurs with their filthy mouths is just not cool.

Hey, baby, why don' you back that fine ass-a-yurz-up?
MMM, you lookin' mighty fine.
Dayum, look at that fine ass. *whistle, whistle*

The last statement was said to me just Tuesday night by a passenger in a "bad-ass" Accord. I say "bad-ass" because it had tinted windows, two doors, and a bass-pumping radio blaring. Though I wrote "fine" I believed this disgusting human being to say "fat" at which point I whipped around and began screaming at him. My friend turned to me and asked me what was wrong and when she heard, she yelled right back at him, "Well, you're fat all over!!" She then tried to coax me into thinking that he said "fine" or that what he was really trying to say was "phat".

I've reached my breaking point. I will no longer pretend I didn't understand what someone said to me in Spanish and I refuse to hide behind my iPod when I can actually hear what was said. How dare you think you can belittle me or get all sexual with me on the street. What do they expect my response to be?

"Yes, sir, please come and take me now on the street. Your profanities flatter me so and I'm so desperate as to want to go at it with a sweaty, disgusting, horny delivery man."

Are you out of your mind? I'm an educated, young woman who shouldn't have to fall victim to this. I feel like there's some sort of law against it but it's just never taken into account or enforced. It's absolutely disgusting and I'm sick of it. There's no excuse. I don't care if you're homeless or drunk or whatever - if you had any shred of human decency you wouldn't talk to me. This is precisely why I walk around New York with a scowl on my face. Don't come near me because I'll kick your ass. But that just provokes more comments.

Hey, baby, why don ju smile?

No reason to smile at you, buddy. You make me sick.