Withdrawing Myself

It was a Sunday afternoon. I thought I'd take the day to catch up on some freelance and relax a bit (if time allowed). What I didn't anticipate was the events that would befall me that windy February day. You see, I've formed an attachment - let's call it more of a habitual action. I have an OCD about doing something every day, probably 20-30 times at least. It's a disease, really. And I don't know how to cope with it. It was just this past Sunday that I was forced into withdrawal. My vicious habit was ripped out from under my fingertips! I couldn't take it. What was I to do without my best pal?

Yes, my friends, my computer crashed. Now it didn't exactly crash in the sense that I couldn't turn it on (I really would've freaked!). But the younger-than-me-techie at the Genius Bar told me that I'd be needing to hand over my iBook for repair. And what followed wasn't pretty.

I found myself wandering around aimlessly in my house when I'd return home from work every night. What was I to do without a computer? Actually, I had to complete an assignment on Sunday after I surrendered my baby. So I reluctantly dragged myself over to the Dell we have downstairs that we bought probably when I was a freshman in high school, ie. it's getting up there in years! It was the slowest, most frustrating process ever.

Then, during the beginning of the week, I found that I didn't know what to do with myself at night. I actually sat in my bed and watched television (not that there's anything on) and felt irritated and stressed! I did my nails, hung out with my mom for a bit, and went to sleep early. Who has the time for such luxuries?!

It was through this time that I realized how dependent I am on technology. And the irony of it all is that I absolutely loathe technology. You can't always make things go your way and a co-dependent relationship is probably the worst kind to have! I need to know that when I need something, I can rely on my trusty laptop to provide me with support. However, I also need to know that I can stand on my own and that I don't need to always rely on that machine. Obviously, it can let you down at any time.

In the end, everything turned out OK. My computer is fixed, it's back in my possession, and I can go back to compulsively checking my email. I have to wonder, however, what would I ever do without my technology? Imagine I didn't have a cell phone?! Now, that's just out of control.